a/b/o au (for deadlyhairpin)

[intheashes]

They're in a new town for their usual act. The quick draw that gets them enough money to stay in the next town for a bit. Mostly because after they fleece the people, they don't dare linger too long. No one much likes getting conned out of their hard earned money. Sometimes, he felt guilty for it. Most times he did, if he was being honest with himself.

But it worked and he hadn't really had to struggle to get by from town to town since he had taken up traveling with Billy Rocks. A decision he had made quickly one day perhaps a month and a half ago when he had seen the wiry bastard surrounded by alphas. He'd never seen anyone fight like that. Not anyone. Usually, men with that subtle scent he had caught that day would have just rolled over and showed their bellies. But Billy had fought. For Goody, an alpha who didn't really like to fight at all, it had been quite something.

He'd rolled right up after that, affable as he pleased, and carefully whisked Billy away from trouble by heaping it upon himself, claiming that day with a feral glint in his eyes that he had been the one that had done it because someone had challenged his dominance. Once away, he had gone out of his way to prove he wasn't like all those other Alphas. He stayed arms length away, always there the moment some other might start sniffing around, ready to stare them down with cold blue eyes. Better him take care of it than Billy. Billy left bodies because Billy wasn't like any omega he had ever met.

It was part of the draw to their little show after all. No matter how skilled Billy was, no one ever bet for an omega. They were weak, after all. They were there for breeding. Omegas were supposed to be swelled with young or serving their mates, even this far west, not standing in the middle of a ring with a gun in hand. Goody seemed to not care about that distinction. It brought good money. It got them food and shelter in the evenings the next town over. It wasn't honest work, but it was work (even if all he did was promote the game and collect the winnings). But there were times when he had to do it himself. When he had to keep Billy in their room. When he smelled so strongly that Goody could barely contain himself.

It's getting close to one of those days. He can smell it. The aroma that accompanies an omega nearing their season. Goody can tell the bar around them is starting to notice it as well. If he doesn't do something soon, he's going to have to start throwing his weight around. It's something he hates to do. It's easier to just try to avoid it to begin with.

"Billy, we've got a busy day tomorrow. I think it's high time you kicked off upstairs. Don't worry. I'll be behind in a tick." He's trying to control this before Billy's scent catches the wrong sort of attention.

Comments

[deadlyhairpin]

The answer has Billy turning his head and looking over at Goody in utter awe. He's always thought highly of the man. Always thought he was a good friend and an even better companion on the road. Now he knew from experience that he was also an incredible lover and the best Alpha Billy had ever met in his life. To throw away your chance for a mate like this? To accept that the one you bonded to might bond another? No Alpha would ever allow that. But Goody would. Goody who could never see his own worth.

Who put himself dead last in every situation.

Billy said nothing. Simply cradled Goody's jaw in the palm of his hand and gave him a long kiss. Something loving instead of lustful. Sweet instead of needy. And when he pulled back, his eyes were filled with admiration and affection. Enough to drown inside. And, indeed, Billy thought that he might.

"You...Wouldn't trap me," he said honestly. "Having you as a mate would never be a trap. I asked you for this. I offered it to you knowing you wouldn't be able to turn away. You...Are a stronger Alpha than any in here to take me in those conditions and not bond. Stronger man than I was to even be able to stop."

He kisses him again. The feeling is nice. Warming. He could get used to it, if he had the opportunity.

"It wouldn't have been a trap, Goody. It would have been a privilege."

[intheashes]

He knows it's strange and he knows it's part of why he'll never be considered a proper Alpha or a strong one. But that's just how he is. He would rather love Billy and know the man was happy with a proper mate than force him to forever be with the likes of him. There was always just too much of a chance that they might meet someone in their travels that would appeal to the Omega and he would want to settle down and raise a family with. He just didn't think it would be him, ever. He's not worth that.


He kisses back softly and shifts his hips a little trying to get comfortable while they are still stuck together. His face is full of warm hope but also worn out tiredness. "Billy... if you really mean that, then wait. Wait and tell me it again when the heat isn't affecting you." Because he knows. He knows that during heat, Omegas say things. At least that's what he's already heard. That they weren't in their right minds and would say anything to get knotted. He wants to bond with Billy, but he also knows that so long as Billy might be compromised by his heat, he can't do anything rash.

"Can you promise me that? Just wait until the urges go away. So that way I know for sure..." Not that he's going to question Billy's desires too much. But he has to make completely certain. "For now though...please don't tempt me. I'm trying to do right by you."

[deadlyhairpin]

Goody is perfect inside of him. Just what he needed and Billy leans into him, kissing his miraculous lover and friend as tenderly as he possibly could. He's perfect. Everything about him is perfect. And it's a crime that the man can't see it through the lenses he sees himself.

"I promise you, Goody. When this is over and you know I am myself again. I will say it again." They'd have to wait months before they were able to make it official, of course. But at least Goody would know that he had someone. And Billy...Billy would have the only Alpha in the entire world that would treat him the way he'd always wanted to be treated.

He would have the best Alpha he'd ever known. All to himself.

But that was for another day.

That night, they spent hours in each passionate embrace. Making love until the sun crested over the houses and then falling asleep utterly satisfied until the saloon owner rapped on their door and reminded them of their commitments. It was with reluctance that Billy let Goody slip out of him. His heat was more or less satisfied after the previous evening, but the need inside of him to scent and adjust to his new mate hadn't abated.

Not to mention his fear over letting Goody into the ring, once more.

But in the end, there was nothing for it. Billy let him go and curled up on the bed, sending some special tea down to the kitchen for brewing that would hopefully prevent any additional travelers joining his and Goody's team. He was still drinking the foul stuff hours later, grimacing with each swallow as he watched the door, hoping with an intense fear that all had gone well.

[intheashes]

The ring had been harder than he liked to admit. He didn't like having to shoot at all anymore. But now he had a mate to help support. And if Billy was unable to do it than it was up to him to swallow his fears, force the shaking to stop and pull the damn trigger. Of course his were different from Billy's. It wasn't a contest of speed, but of accuracy. Betting on what he could and couldn't hit. It didn't garner nearly enough money because so few people bet against him and he couldn't make himself miss. But it got him enough to continue paying for room and board until such time as Billy's heat was over and they could be on their way again.

He is certain that even from the inn, Billy would hear the echo of his rifle as he takes his shots in such rapid succession. And he's certain that his mate will smell the spike of anxiety that rolls off of him from before he even reaches the door. He swallows it down and lets himself in, pale faced and sweating a little.

He jerkily makes it to where Billy is sipping something that smells utterly putrid and sits heavily on the bed to start dividing his win in half. "Here you go, cher. As always, this is yours. I know it's not much, but I'll do better for you tomorrow."

[deadlyhairpin]

Billy puts his hands over the money and pulls it out of Goody's shaking hands to rest it on the night table. "I don't care about this, Goody. Come here." He can feel the pull, muted, but there. Enough for him to know that he is Goodnight's mate, even if Goodnight is not his.

There's enough heat still in his blood for him to be a bit foggy-headed, but on the whole he's back to normal. He puts the tea next to the money and pulls Goody close to him, knowing his scent will start to calm the other man down. "I can go back out, tomorrow. Short heats. Family trait. I'll be fine by tomorrow and I'll smell mated so there's no reason to squirrel me away for more."

He strokes Goody's hair, turning his head to look at him. "Relax. You did well, Goody. Be here with me, again. Alright? Breathe." It's nothing he hasn't said before. But now it feels so much more intimate. Which makes sense with all that had happened between them. All the things they'd need to talk about sooner rather than later.

But for now...

"Just breathe. You're safe, here."

[intheashes]

Billy's scent has always been a calming one, even before he claimed the man. But now that he has mated with the omega, that smell just doubles in the feeling of warmth and security he feels. He buries his nose against the crook of Billy's neck and breathes him in. That scent grounds him. Puts him at ease. He's no longer in the past, surrounded by the sounds of battle. He's no longer trapped by death all around him. He's with his mate. His strong omega.

"I'm sorry I'm no good to you." he means it too. He wishes he could do better for Billy. His mate needs an Alpha who can provide, even if it's only Goody that's locked into this and not Billy. "I'd rather we just go soon. Get out of here. To a new town. Too many people talking about the Angel of Death now. So one more day. You go out there and show everyone how amazing you are, then we go....If you want." Because he'll never boss Billy around.

He'll never boss him around but he'll certainly nuzzle against the man's neck. He won't bond him though. It's just seeking the comfort the man's scent brings him.

[deadlyhairpin]

There Goody went again, showing up every single Alpha Billy had ever met in his life. What other man would still be avoiding a bit to Billy's neck? What other Alpha would be careful to never push his demands into his voice, letting Billy act on his own volition? There was no Alpha like that. Just Goody.

Billy leaned in and kissed the side of Goody's cheek before starting to undo his vest. He'd done it before, once in awhile. The moves were familiar. "Let's get comfortable," he suggests, peeling off the vest and then going after the shirt. He has enough heat inside him still to want to straddle Goody's lap once he's bare and ride him into another satisfying knot, but that's not the goal of all of this. Not right now.

Right now, he just wants to show his appreciation. That, and help Goody to look just a bit less haunted. But that Billy's been working on for awhile, now.

"Goody, you're good to me. You're....better to me than I ever expected to have. My neck is bare even though you're tied to me for the rest of my life. How could you possibly be better than that?" He slides the shirt off, bending to kiss his shoulders. The tops of his biceps. The column of his neck.

"You are good, Goody. There is a reason I took you into my bed. And I haven't regretted it yet, alright?" He smiles a bit, pulling him closer. "Now. Just breathe and relax, Goody. One more day and then we're going to be out of here. I promise."

[intheashes]

He lets Billy strip him of his vest and shirt. He presses against those soft kisses because he needs them. He needs the gentle touch of his mate. He needs to surround himself in Billy, wrap himself up in Billy's scent. He wraps his arms around the man as he's pulled and shifts their weight so that he can lay down pressed against the other man.

Pressed and nuzzling warmly. "One day more." It's almost like a prayer to him. With how badly his flashbacks could get, with how jumpy he was, one day more was almost a motto. Just get through one day more. But now that he had a mate to look after, to take care of, he could focus on that instead of just forcing himself to get through to the next sunrise.

"And then we can run wild again. Just you and me. We can run wild and we can talk about this." Because he wasn't going to talk top Billy about this new relationship until he was certain that the heat wasn't bothering him any. So he could explain how he wants to badly to tie Billy to him but will refrain out of respect for the man's freedom and ability to get at someone he might really want.

[deadlyhairpin]

For the next six months, 'run wild' is exactly what they do. Just as they had before, they travel from town to town swindling the good people out of their money with alley matches and the occasional card game when the whether was too bad for everyone to head outside. It's normal. Just what they had done before.

Before they had slept together, that is.

Before they'd slept together and just...hadn't stopped.

The conversation Goody had wanted to have simply hadn't come. He'd tried to, poor man, but Billy wasn't interested at all in hearing it. He knew what Goody would say; that he was free to do as he pleased and Goody would just...be there. Tied to this man who had used him as a living sex toy and had taken the best Alpha that ever lived as his own without returning the favor. Billy was simply too ashamed to have that conversation. Too humiliated with his own weakness to hear Goody actually say those words and prove him right. So instead, he'd simply waved the conversation off the first night his friend had attempted it over their modest fire.

"It's fine, Goody. It's fine," he assured. Even though it wasn't. It never would be. But he'd do his best to rectify it however he could.

So they traveled together, Billy steadfast making sure their friendship was not impacted the slightest by what had happened. They may have been a bit closer (and Billy might get echoes of Goody's fears through the half-bond when he concentrated on it hard enough), but that was all. Billy still pretended to be an Alpha and Goody still covered for him when he needed it.

And if, on occasion, they happened to have sex, well. That was no one's business but their own.

It was after one such night (just a few weeks after the rather exhausting time of Goody's rut) that Billy woke up feeling satisfied and warm in the bed they'd splurged to share. Goody was pressed against him and the sun just started to peek through the drapes. The early morning light always favored a sleeping Goodnight. Billy had learned that over the last few months. But even having seen it a few times, it still managed to make his stomach flip in these few, small hours.

Except, this time, the flipping wasn't really stopping. Billy frowned, trying to figure out just what was going on, down there, about two seconds before the cause became evident. It was all he could do then to scramble, naked, out of the bed and rush over to the water basin, emptying the little bit of food he still had in his stomach into it.

He hated this. He'd hated throwing up since he was a child and a low, pitiful sound filled the room as his stomach quailed once more at the smell of burning breakfast below. He heaved once more, nothing but acid left to be expelled, and moaned again, a bit louder at the unease in his stomach.

"I knew that woman couldn't cook," he complained to himself seconds before he was bent over again, the nausea almost worse than the vomiting itself. It had been years since he'd been sick like this. Trust it to happen in a small inn in the middle of nowhere because your friends insisted on you eating his fish.

[intheashes]

Honestly, the sex was great. It was amazing. He had no complaints when he could manage to get the beautiful Omega into his bed. He never pressured Billy for it though. Never demanded. It happened when it happened. Naturally. Organically. They might be getting ready for bed or Billy might be fresh from a bath. Or they might have laughed under the stars about a particularly funny thing that had happened that they remembered. Then there would be kissing and, next thing he knew, he was buried knot deep in Billy, giving him all the loving kisses he could while they waited for hsi knot to go down enough for him to pull out.

At no time had he forged the soulbond between them. At no time had he staked his claim to this amazing Omega in his life. He left Billy along and unmarked. Let him have the freedom he deserved, certain that some day, he really would meet an alpha he wanted and needed over Goody. And at that point, Goody would let him go. It would kill him, but he only wanted Billy's happiness. Still, his rut had been a very close call. He had been so out of his mind with need and lust that he'd nearly lost himself and done it. He's only barely managed to fight it though what had been actual days of near constant sex. Now even weeks later, he still wanted to apologize for how close it had been and he hard and desperately he had fucked the Omega...and the things he had said in his wild state.. Things about making Billy his and other dirty filthy Aplha things about filling Billy with his young.

They didn't talk about it. About the things he said when he was crazy with the rut. About how possessive and overly dominant and domineering he had been. It's just another in the long long list of things they didn't talk about. And that was fine. It was fine because so long as they didn't, he could lay there in bed next to Billy and sleep like they were mated.

Only, suddenly, there's coldness as Billy leaves the bed quickly. He wakes quickly. For Billy to jolt from the bed at this hour meant danger. He sits up, reaching for his rifle, only to see the naked man bent over the washbasin looking a bit gray. "Billy...mon ange...what's wrong?" The worry he feels is evident. He's never really seen the other man sick. A part of him can't remember if he saw Billy drink that god awful tea after that almost four days of being constantly filled but he's not yet going there.

[deadlyhairpin]

'Mon ange' is a new one. Billy remembers the endearment (it certainly sounded like an endearment) from the time of the rut. It had come easily, in between grunts of 'cher' and 'amour'. Billy hadn't thought to ask, afterwards. Indeed, afterwards he hadn't thought to do much at all. Certainly not talk. Especially since, during those days, he'd felt better than he had in years. There was something oddly freeing in it. The same way that he had felt oddly free in the middle of his first satisfied heat; not needing to act any way. Not feeling like he was being used but rather cherished. Billy had had no way to work that through in his head, so he'd clammed up, instead.

Also, he'd been so thoroughly exhausted, he'd barely even been able to eat anything. Or drink anything, for that matter. But he's not even able to process thoughts on food, at the moment. Not until his stomach stops rolling.

It takes another second for him to settle down and pull himself away to go over to the wash bin and rinse out his mouth with some of the water in the basin. He spits it out the open window and scrubs his mouth hard, finally feeling just the slightest bit better as he moves back toward the bed.

"I blame you," he grumbles, laying back down. "That fish. Had to be the fish..."

On instinct, he curled toward Goody, the smell of his lover helping a bit to drown out whatever was being cooked down below. "Ugh. And now she's burning the coffee. Is our room right above it?"

[intheashes]

Goody watches the man. Watches how he moves. How he stands. There's concern there but also a deep seated adoration. The omega he'd attached himself to was lovely, even when he was scrubbing his teeth, with the light of the morning sun catching his beautiful skin and making him nearly glow.

Goody shifts to make room for the other man on their shared bed and rolls just enough that he can plant his chin on Billy's shoulder. His breath tickling that place where with a single bite, he could tie Billy to him forever, just as he was tied to Billy. But he never has even remotely made the attempt. It's just his way of snuggling.

"I ate that fish too and I feel just fine. Maybe I'm just used to bad cooking seeing as I'm such a bad one myself, as you always delight in pointing out." He breathes Billy in and for a second he swears he smells something a bit different on him. And he certainly can't smell coffee being burned and that smell is truly gut wrenching so surely he would smell it.

And in his head, a picture is starting to form. He remembers is mother. How she had smelled when she had been pregnant with Rene, with Jacques, with Beau... how she would complain about the strength of scents overwhelming her. How his father had said every day how she glowed. He remembered and all of a sudden he's sitting up in bed. "You...didn't drink that godawful tea after, did you?"

He can't remember if he had and honestly, it had been pretty much straght sex for days during his rut. There was just no way that tea would have done anything after day 3...surely that meant one thing. Crushing Billy to his chest he's certain there are happy tears in his eyes. "Mon Ange! Mon petit mère! I will take such good care of you both!"

[deadlyhairpin]

"What?" he starts, confused as he has Goody pressed against him, shouting things in French he's sure he knows but can't place at the moment. His head is still stuck on the question Goody had thrown out and then answered himself. His tea? No...no he'd forgotten it a few times. And there had been a few other times when Goody had been so amorous that drinking more than a few sips had been impossible before Goody was pushing inside and holding the mug became impossible. All in all he probably had drank maybe four cups at varying times during the rut. But...he hadn't been in heat. So it should have been fine. It was just a precaution, afterwards.

'Mon petit mere'

Mere. He knew that word. Goody had used it when he talked about his mother. His mother. Because, of course, Goody thought that he was having a baby.

"No...no. Goody. No, I'm not..."

But before he can argue, he reevaluates his symptoms. He's sick. He'd been sick two mornings ago, as well, but he'd thought it was just because he'd slept poorly as Goody was forced into another bed. But that combined with his strange, apparently heightened sense of smell? The way he'd been so exhausted the past week or so?

Then, adding that into how his chest hurt a bit, the way Goody was pressing against it...

Billy's blood ran ice cold.

"Goody," he started, pushing him away with as much force as he could. "Goody. Stop. I...I am not...I can't be. There's no way that I can be... I did drink the tea," which isn't a lie, technically. "This has to be something else. It just has to be..." The more he thinks about it, though, the more that just sounds like denial. The more real this possibility seems to be.

"We...we can't have a baby, Goody. Our lives aren't set up for something like that. How would we even raise it?"

[intheashes]

He's beside himself with the idea that Billy could be pregnant. Not just any baby. His. The best and strongest omega he knew could be with his child. Goody hadn't really expected something like this to happen. Never really thought it would happen. For one, he wasn't a very strong Alpha. So for him to get Billy with child...

He wants to hold Billy. He wants to take care of him even more. Deep Alpha instincts to take care of the man are emerging. He knew that a lot of Alphas just left their mates to deal with that on their own. But he's not them. He wants nothing more than to make sure both his child and the man he was tied to would be cared for and protected. He wanted to see to it that they never wanted for anything.

Of course, there was a probably with that. Billy would be having a child out of matelock. There was such a stimga against that. But Goody would protect his omega from that and he would step aside if another Alpha was chosen by Billy to help raise the child. It would break his heart, maybe even kill him, but he would do it. He would, for Billy. For the baby.

The baby! There was so much to do now! Only his worry and excitement and sheer joy is cut cold by stiff arms shoving him away and Billy denying that it might be the case. He tries not to look hurt that he was pushed aside. He still thinks deep down, he will lose this Omega to a proper Alpha. He doesn't try to touch the man again, to give him his space, but Goody is still utterly giddy. He nearly vibrates with his joy.

"I know we aren't. Not right now. But we can be. I can arrange for it. For everything. We can go wherever you want. I will wire for all the money we'll ever need. I'll even set up a store front or whatever it takes to make enough money to take care of you both. We could be together. A family. You and me. We can raise it together until you find the Alpha you really wish for. But first, i you want, I can find us a midwife here in this town. I can bring her up to the room and she could have a look at you. That way we'll have a good idea of when we need to really start settling down."

[deadlyhairpin]

"I'm not pregnant!" he shouts, regretting it immediately with how furious he sounds. Regretting it even more because he knows how overjoyed Goody is. He inhales deep, on the verge of a panic attack. Which is completely foreign, for him. Goody has panic attacks, not him. He's never had a panic attack in his entire life. But right now, with a sour stomach and the evidence piling up against him, he can almost feel the walls closing in on him. This was his punishment. This was what he got for taking an Alpha, even an Alpha who was as good as Goody was. He played with fire and now he had gotten burned, completely.

And he hadn't just taken himself down, in the process. Fuck.

He stood and walked to the window, staring out at the street before remembering he was nude and walking instead over to the mirror. Now that he looks at himself more clearly, he can almost see the smallest softening around his chest. Nothing around his stomach, not yet. But it would be coming.

Fuck.

"I can't be pregnant, Goody. I can't." His hands are fists as they press into the dresser's top, eyes staring down at the wood grain.

"I don't want to be pregnant."

And there it was. Slowly, he turned and looked at his friend, apologizing as much as he was standing strong as he met his eye. "I don't want an Alpha. And I don't want to settle down. What we've been doing...it was fine. But I am not having a baby, Goody. I drank the tea every single time," the lie is almost offensive with how easily it comes out of his mouth. He can't look at Goody anymore. Not now.

"This is a stomach flu. Nothing more. And I'll have it confirmed when we get to our next town. Volcano Springs is only a few hours ride. They have a specialist there that can look me over. And then we'll know for sure."

The specialist, he didn't say, wasn't a midwife at all. Volcano Springs was infamous among Omega who felt like Billy did; it was the place to go when one was in trouble. The place to go to have the trouble ended, once and for all.

He couldn't look at Goody as he said it. Couldn't look at him as he dashed his hopes across the ground. The best Alpha he had ever known and Billy was going to take away what was probably the only thing he had ever wanted. The one good thing to come his way in years. But it was the only thing he could do. There was no way he could be a mother. There was absolutely no way he could have this child.

"Let's get dressed. Get over to Volcano Springs. We'll...figure it out from there.

[intheashes]

The shout has him flinching, his joyful exuberance slowly deflating as if Billy had stabbed one of his knives deeply into it. His happiness bleeding out at his feet as Billy keeps talking. As Billy denies that seems so obvious to Goody. After 3 brothers, he had been certain, but Billy is so adamant. So certain it's not that Goody has to question what he's sure he knows.

And even more than that, there is a pain growing. The knife of Billy's words, twisting in his heart. He hears them and to him it only sounds like he's being refused in the most basic of ways. Billy doesn't want his child. Billy doesn't want to settle down and be a family. Billy doesn't want an Alpha. Billy...doesn't...really....want...him... That's what he's hearing. That this thing that they had was just something that happened because instinct had won. He was just a convenient knot to fill the man when he needed it. Nothing more.

It hurts.

It hurts and he accepts it. He does because he had mated for life and he'll take whatever he can get. He'll take it and he'll like it because he has no other options left over to him. He'll accept it just like he'll accept the day that Billy decides enough is enough and walks out on him. He'll die that day, but at least he won't drag this wonderful Omega down with him.

"...You drank the tea." He parrots, trying to hide the soul deep disappointment and hurt. "It's just the flu. I...I understand. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I overreacted. You know me. Always so over dramatic." He stiffly goes to dress, that unnatural silence that comes from him when he's hurting most filling the room. When he's finished, he murmurs, "I'll get the horses ready and swing by the general store for some mint leaves for you to chew. It'll help your stomach upset. You...come down when you're ready..."

He's rather proud of himself that he doesn't just run out of the room. But even as he flees in a dignified manner, Billy's voice chases him, echoing "I don't want an Alpha" in his head.

[deadlyhairpin]

"Fuck," Billy curses as he watches Goody disappear out the door and out of sight. He walks over to the bed they'd been sharing so comfortably and sits heavily on the top of it, cradling his head in his hands. The nausea is fading, but there is a deep horror replacing it that's almost worse. Goody's scent is on everything. On the bed, on the pillows, on the curtains. On him.

In him.

His hand goes to his stomach on instinct, touching the child he now knows he's growing within him. Goody's firstborn. His own firstborn, as well. He can't feel anything yet, but he knows that it's there. A little boy or girl that they created together and that Billy was now planning to have taken care of in Volcano Springs.

It is what needs to be done, he reminds himself. But even as he thinks it, the traitorous part of his mind replays the exuberant happiness Goody had experienced, knowing he was to be a father. It reminded him what a good Alpha Goody was. Letting him fight his own battles and go his own way. Even as far as allowing Billy to have another mate, if the time would come for that.

He was the perfect Alpha for a man like Billy. And this child? Goody deserved to have a child.

But Billy just couldn't let that child come from him.

He stands up and walks over to where his clothes are, pulling them on and ignoring how he's now aware that the rough shirt hurts his chest. He straps on his knives and makes sure that all their items are in his bag before he goes down to meet Goody.

His friend. His lover. The father of his tiny, growing child.

He's going to be sick, if he keeps thinking about it. Best to just let it go. They'll be in Volcano Springs by tonight and, by tomorrow, he'll be a free, more careful Omega. Of course he will.

What could go wrong, now?

[intheashes]

Goody goes about everything with a near mechanical numbness. He knows a downward spiral when he sees it and he knows he's likely not going to be able to come back from this one. But that's fine. It's fine because Billy's voice is still adamantly in his ear, denying him. Rejecting him.

He can't look at Billy when the man finally appears. Can't look at the Omega for fear of what Billy might see. For fear he'll see that moment when Goodnight shatters beyond the point of any repair. He takes slow and steady breaths and he knows what he has to do. And in that moment, it all goes away. As soon as he decides, that's it. There's no more fear. No more hurt. There's just clarity and the knowledge that for once in his damn life he'll be doing the right thing. Fitting really, since the right thing will be taking himself out of the world.

"I went through our joint funds. Doctors aren't cheap, but I'll see you see a good one when you get there. So that you can get medicine for that stomach flu. I'll do the draws. I'm not going to make you go out in the ring with you sick and all. You can go get seen." He knows that all he needs to be is purposely slower once Billy is away. Then there'll be one less alpha Billy doesn't need in his life. "Sound like a plan, Mr Rocks?" He asks the question with a smile on his face, but those blue eyes are hollow.

/Rolls in late with Starbucks

[deadlyhairpin]

There's something wrong about Goody's face. Billy can feel it as soon as he comes around and sees him again. The way he doesn't even look at him. The way that his eyes hold nothing in them except for the reflection of his pain. They are in public now so there isn't much that he can do to demand answers out of his friend. But, really, he knows what the answers will be. Knows that they will come back to the choice he's made for the both of them. The words he so cast between them. He knows. And the coward in him has him nodding instead of reopening the wound. Has him getting on his horse and riding in silence for as long as he can.

Thinking about that baby inside of him and the lover beside him and what he was going to be doing to them both.

It's a long ride. Longer yet from the tension and pain between them. Halfway in, they hit a stretch where they are alone and Billy looks over at where his friend is. Worry claws at him as much as his own guilt and anxiety. But Billy's priority has always been looking after Goody. Just as Goody's has always been taking care of him.

He moves his horse closer, slowing the pace.

"Goody..." His voice is gentle as he speaks, quiet despite their privacy. "Once I get the medicine, I should be back to normal. You don't have to do the draws. We can always stay for longer, too. Take off some time and do draws after. You don't have to shoot a gun. I wouldn't ask you to."