He hears the key got into the lock and for a moment, he tenses. A part of his mind is clamoring, lost to the heady scent of Billy right behind that door. It told him once that door was open that he needed to move fast. He could survive a stab wound, surely, and pushing the omega down and having his way would be worth every drop of blood Billy took from him with those knives of his. It's such an uncivilized and bestial urge and Goody hates himself a little for having it. He promised.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and he knows that was a terrible idea as soon as he did because his lungs fill and he can almost taste Billy's heat through the door. He finds himself panting a little and stepping away just enough that the man can fully see him through the hole in the door. See how he's holding himself rigid, one hand digging fingers into his other arm, using the pain of it as stimulus to keep from losing his damn mind. "I...had a mate once." He admitted. "Or I was supposed to. A pretty little Omega girl my parents picked out for me. Before the war, we kept it chaste. I couldn't do what needed done if I was distracted. When I came back... she wanted me to fight for her. Some Union soldier had been sweet on her during the Seige down there. I couldn't do it. I...couldn't kill another boy in blue. She said the war had neutered me. I lost my nerve up North. I was no longer the dominant Alpha her parents promised her. Pups from the likes of me would be weak and pathetic. She left that man later that season. Probably has a huge brood of little ones and living the dream."
He squeezes his arm a little harder. "She was right though. I am a weak Alpha. That's why I can control it. The urges I feel right now. Because I'm weak and pathetic and I know I'll never be strong enough or dominant enough and I know I can't saddle you with that. Because if I were to mate with you..." He takes a small breath, "Even if I didn't bond you, Robicheaux Alphas mate for life. And I can't do that to you, Billy. You deserve better than some Aplha who is all bark and no bite."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2016-11-25 02:31 pm (UTC)He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and he knows that was a terrible idea as soon as he did because his lungs fill and he can almost taste Billy's heat through the door. He finds himself panting a little and stepping away just enough that the man can fully see him through the hole in the door. See how he's holding himself rigid, one hand digging fingers into his other arm, using the pain of it as stimulus to keep from losing his damn mind. "I...had a mate once." He admitted. "Or I was supposed to. A pretty little Omega girl my parents picked out for me. Before the war, we kept it chaste. I couldn't do what needed done if I was distracted. When I came back... she wanted me to fight for her. Some Union soldier had been sweet on her during the Seige down there. I couldn't do it. I...couldn't kill another boy in blue. She said the war had neutered me. I lost my nerve up North. I was no longer the dominant Alpha her parents promised her. Pups from the likes of me would be weak and pathetic. She left that man later that season. Probably has a huge brood of little ones and living the dream."
He squeezes his arm a little harder. "She was right though. I am a weak Alpha. That's why I can control it. The urges I feel right now. Because I'm weak and pathetic and I know I'll never be strong enough or dominant enough and I know I can't saddle you with that. Because if I were to mate with you..." He takes a small breath, "Even if I didn't bond you, Robicheaux Alphas mate for life. And I can't do that to you, Billy. You deserve better than some Aplha who is all bark and no bite."